Responses to Week #1

Responses to Annotated Bibliography blogs in order of date of post. (I am responding this way, as the internet is a bit off and on, and I can post all at once, rather than comment individually on blogs. Please feel free to read my comments to others, as well, as they may aid you when completing future assignments.) 

BIGGEST REMINDER OF THE WEEK: QUOTE FROM THE TEXTS YOU READ! BACK UP THE CLAIMS YOU MAKE! Use MLA format to cite your claims! This will really help you out when you are writing your final research paper, as you will have most references that you need already cited! Only two or three of you, I believe (don’t quote me it’s late and I’m writing by the light of my bathroom on a cold hotel floor as my son sleeps), quoted from the readings. No one used MLA format. This is a 400-level course, and it’s research based, so this stuff is super important. PLEASE ask me if you aren’t sure you know how to cite. I assume that you enter this class knowing this information, but some of you might not, so please let me know. I will do my best to assist you. 

ALSO: Please name the photographer whose work you are analyzing right away in your first paragraph, and when you quote from a text, please reference at least the text’s author, if not the article’s or book’s title.

Kaitlyn

I love your inference that the man in this photograph might be wealthy, as his attire “gives away his wealth and social status” and that you think his pose “corresponds with typical military poses and facial expressions.” Even though Keita had a wardrobe for his costumers so that they could appear dressed in western attire, I believe that you are right and that this man is a veteran. I am most interested, however, in his cloudy eyes. I infer from his eyes that he has “seen” a lot—meaning suffered and really seen death at its core. My inference may speak to why Serah commented that this man’s face made her feel sympathy.

Your first “observation” portion of your annotated bibliographies, please try not to use the words “appears” or “seems.” Make this paragraph only factual. Try to describe the image according to what you most objectively can note. I would move the following sentences from your first paragraph this week into your second paragraph: “From analyzing this photo, the person appears to be very stoic, and very serious. He seems to be decorated with military medals and awards.”  The first sentence would then read: “There is a lot of very natural light in this posed photo, which illuminates the face of the person, whereas his uniform is very dark. The light seems to transcend [word choice? This sentence doesn’t make sense to me] from top to bottom. The backdrop is decorated in a floral print.”

Your inference paragraph would then read: “From analyzing this photo, the person appears to be very stoic, and very serious. He seems to be decorated with military medals and awards. I gather that this person must be a well-off, decorated military officer. From Keita article, most people when they got their photo taken, it was someone of high iconic status, so he must be important [please revise this sentence it doesn’t read grammatically; ask me if you would like advice!]. His attire also gives away his wealth and social status since his uniform is very proper and prim. His facial expression is very serious and stoic, which corresponds with typical military poses and facial expressions. There is a lot of natural light in this photo, which helps illuminate the person's face. Keita in his studio was notoriously known for using natural light in his photographs. The floral backdrop is kind of confusing; Keita was trying to pull away from European photographic tropes, but the floral backdrop reminds me of a European style. [Could you find a European photograph to compare this to?]

Serah

Your observations are excellent. I’m interested in your comparisons between these two women. Who are they? What is their relationship? Why would they go together to be photographed and wear the same exact outfit?! I, too, might agree with your inference that they come from the same family. I also find your inference that these women are not at home in their attire a really savvy and prescient inference! Keep your sentences, when writing about a photograph, in the present tense. So “wear” instead of “wore” would be the proper academic language to use. Rather than Keita “put something on the back,” you might consider “uses a backdrop.” You do not infer what material is being used, which is great. You do guess, but this helps the reader to understand what it is you see. I would add that “the lady on the left” is on the viewer’s left, because she herself is actually on the right side. I agree that she does look older, and that her face seems less “encouraging” (this would be the proper grammatical way to say what you imply here). Your observation paragraph should end: “They are holding each other's arms and hands,” as the rest of your sentence is an inference.

I agree that Keita “has a sense of art” and a way of making things “look pretty.” The fourth article of the packet definitely details his aesthetic practice, if you are interested in finding out more about why his photographs seem so artistic compared to others’ studio portraits.

Meghan,

Let me correct your observation. The girl in the photo is not African American. Did you read the articles on Keita? The girl is African. This will change your entire post. I suggest you revise it and then I will comment. Does that sound fair?

Alex,

Fantastic objective rendering of this photograph in your first paragraph. Your inference is also really intriguing! (Please name the photograph in subsequent posts, simply to make the reader of your bibliography know right away whose work you are analyzing.) I would never have come up with such a reading of this photo. Perhaps what you have stumbled upon is how Keita is able to really “see” each client (and, as you so wonderfully point out, each prop) equally. He doesn’t privilege one over another. Perhaps this is what makes his photos so fantastic (in my opinion, and this is also what I argue about his images, though using other reasoning)? I am not quite sure I follow Amber’s comment about Sidibe’s photographing more “in the moment” and what this has to do with Keita’s studio practice. Maybe Amber might comment further?

Amanda

                  Excellent observation. I wonder if what he is holding is the back of a beach chair? It’s a poor “rephotograph” on my part. You might scour Google for the photograph to see this detail more clearly. I think, too, that I might add that this man closest to the camera is not very clothed. He is wearing a swimsuit, no? A Speedo? This, too, might need a better quality reproduction (and my contact lenses—which I just removed, sorry) to better see. The reason I think his almost naked, decorated (rings, etc…) self is powerful is that the headless photograph, as I would infer, becomes a narrative about the body and about the beach and sensuality. (For another inference about the lack of face, I love Lyndsay’s reading of this image in her comment on your post. I’m interested, too, in how Julian believes the man doesn’t really appear in the photograph, since his face isn’t pictured. How defined are we in photographs by our faces? Is the same true of life?) Somehow the glass of the bottle heightens the nakedness—its transparency is similar to a naked person’s inability to hide. Or? I’m trying to think about what makes this image powerful. I also have always, until now, thought that this man was smoking! Bizarre. He is holding his left hand in such a way.

                  I love your focus on the formal aspects of the image in your inference paragraph. I agree that there is something “carefree” about this photo. Maybe this is just because we want to think the beach is also so calming. What about that bottle, though? Doesn’t it complicate the narrative? Or no? Julian makes an interesting point that the bottle may signify youth culture’s rebellious nature.

Julian

Like Kaitlyn, watch your use of the word “appears” and “seems” in the first paragraph that is attempting to describe the image at hand in the most objective of terms that may exist. This would mean that your first paragraph would begin: “In this photo there is a young boy and girl [I would call them teens, no?], and both of them appear to be unhappy with their stone like faces. They are facing each other in aggressive stances and they both [I would use the word “each” here, but I am not even sure what is correct grammatically in this case!] seem to be holding a large rock in one of their hands. Sidibe captures this photo where the two figures appear to be in a throwing motion with their respective rocks held above their respective heads.”

The second paragraph makes an excellent reference to one of the photocopied articles. Please use the author of the article’s name, and also mention the title of the article. So the first sentence of your second paragraph would read: Michelle Lamuniere’s article, “You Look Beautiful Like That,” states how Sidibe's photos, reflect “the youth, embraces rock and roll, and rebellion against authority” (insert page number for correct MLA citing here in parantheses). One thing you don’t mention in your inference, but which seems obvious to me is the very posed and performative aspect of this photograph. It reminds me of an old film in which the actors and actresses overact, at least by today’s standards in the west. So I would read the image as being an attempt by the photographer to tell a story. To me it is a love story (or a war story). I infer this, for one, because these are two subjects in bathing attire and so they are somewhat sexualized. They are also of a particular age. I don’t think about sibling rivalry at this teenage or young adult age. But what do I know? I don’t have a sibling. Still—I do think that Sidibe is going after a narrative here. Why would he want to do this? Guesses? What is it about love and youth and rebellion and what might he be commenting by “inventing” or posing such an image? How do you imagine it came to be taken? Was it Sidibe’s idea? Are these two really a couple? Did he know something about their relationship and just have them “act it out” and then take the picture?

Great work. I’m glad you chose this image. It comments upon subject matter that is similar in theme to your writing last semester.

Lyndsay

Good effort! Let me say, though, that I think I learned more from the comment you made on Amanda’s post than I did from your post about why you are attracted to Sidibe’s photographic style and subject matter. I love what you say about the lack of a face in the photo being cutting edge for the “time period…” This said, let me suggest beginning your first paragraph of your annotated bibliographies by specifically referencing  the photographer’s name and make clear that you are writing about a photograph. Being so clear will be of service to you later when you go to use these bibliographies when writing your research essay! Ditto with such vague statements as “the time period.” Why not name the time period specifically, so we know when this image was taken without referring to anything but your bibliography? Watch your spelling, as well. “There” should be “Their” and “back drop” is “backdrop.”

Like I commented to Julian, please name the article and the author and make your quotation adhere to MLA standards (in other words, cite the page number). I’m a little confused by your sentence: “While they do appear to be proud, their choice of style or pose could also be read as them trying to get past some sort of self-consciousness about their non-western culture.” I’m confused, because they are wearing western attire (of the “time period”), not African traditional attire. I feel that you haven’t really dug into this image. I’m interested in why you chose it. What does it tell you about youth rebellion? How does it tell you this? What is this photograph’s narrative?

Andrew 

I really love what you are arguing about this photograph: it is at once a record of the traditional and the modern meeting and fusing in one instance in one place and time. I’m also interested in your read of cigarettes signifying wealth. I would read them, in this instance, as signifiying “hipness.” But perhaps I am entirely wrong! Maybe a little research could take this image analysis a long way…  

Several points: Spelling: “poses” is “possess.” Work harder to describe the musical instrument that reminds you of a xylophone, rather than be lazy and write “appears to be a xylophone type contraption” and “something that resembles a horn.” This is supposed to be as objective a reading as possible. Do research. Find out what instruments these actually are--or describe them in careful detail. I am being “academic” about language in this instance (groan). No matter, it’s good practice to get in the habit of really attempting to find words to be able to make the reader really see what it is you are describing. And what is “a tribal diamond pattern”? Is it “tribal”? Be careful with your language, and be informed. As an inference, such an idea might be interesting to investigate, but in this attempt at objectively rendering the photo you are looking at, you need to be very careful. Try not to make any assumptions in this first paragraph, in other words.

Excellent work, I’m just being picky. (I’m also really intrigued by their hats. What’s up with the hats?!)

Amber

I love this statement (slightly altered by my editing) of yours: “This picture could be showcasing these young children to other family members who have yet to meet them. The terrified or shocked look on their faces is really what drew me to this image. I couldn't help but giggle. My assumption would be that Keita or the parents made a strange face, or maybe something happened in the room to warrant such a strange reaction: like the mother or father leaving the area.” It’s great, because I feel you are really “there” in the writing. You use conventional language, yet you make a really profound statement using this language. It gains its academic quality through its content. Impressive. (I’m not sure that I agree that the babies actually look so shocked or terrified, but their twinness is fascinating… We are always interested in look alikes and photography itself is mimetic. There could be a really interesting research essay brewing here…)

Tips: attempt to describe “an apron looking layer,” rather than relying on something that looks like something else to do the work for you. This will make your work all the more refined.